In Portuguese, there is a term "saudade" that does not have a perfect English equivalent. My best substitute is a combination of homesickness and nostalgia.
Maybe it is the change in weather, but I am feeling very saudade today. I realized this morning that this would be my last Sunday in Guelph, likely forever. Confucius would say that I will likely return to Ontario yet I highly doubt I'll be back to Guelph anytime soon (unless of course I am sent to recruit Guelph graduates). During the last few weeks, I have been consumed by excitement about the sudden changes in my life but I must have graduated a level of my 12-step program to a state of reflection. I'm trying very hard to remember all the good times from the past five years, but my natural perfectionist self is having me remember all the things I wish I had handled differently--I don't regret, it is useless to regret because I would not be who I am today or as knowledgeable as I am without those occurances--but there are always things that we could have handled in a better fashion.
The brief moment of depression was followed by a wave of memories of the past five years... what a long strange trip it has been. I would do it all over again. The hits, the misses, the grovelling, the inspriational people I have met and the lessons I would never have learned otherwise.
This trip is not over, it`s just changing venues. Thanks to all of you for the little things you likely don`t remember and please remember to continue to the journey.
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